I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
