Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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