I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
