end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
