I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize