"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize