ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
your room smells of hookers.
And success
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
