you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
