are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
