I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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