i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
