Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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