I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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