it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
