Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
COCAINE IS GR8
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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