apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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