new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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