Me. At least after what I've been through.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
