I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
