I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
