You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
