bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
