Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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