im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
