I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
