the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
