White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
