it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
