I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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