So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize