saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
