I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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