we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
