i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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