i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
