So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
