I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize