C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
