Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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