So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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