9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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