It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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