No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
