After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
