Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
