pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
