Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
