i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
