I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize