If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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