Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
