Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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