Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize