Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize