I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
