every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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