pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm passing your future prison.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
