I think i peed on brittanys purse
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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