They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
