did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
