i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
whose ass print is on the piano?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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