I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
