theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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