in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
