worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
