this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
